First off, Amanda is moving out on Saturday. Living with someone for three months is truly an experience. It is a bitter sweet moment for me because Amanda and I are friends, but have this way of just living together, but separate. I have had fun and I'm glad to be moving on from this section of my life.
I move in about a week. It is so scary to think that I have been in this place for one year working on my soul. I must say as I pack my apartment away, the unit becomes less and less mine and more dismal. I'm nervous for the future because once again I have become content in my present situation. I've lost myself in many ways this year including love and right now...at this very moment....I feel fine. I'm happy and content with most things.
I have made a minor decision that I want to share with those who read this blog. It is nothing great, but something that means something to me.
The first weekend I moved into this apartment I received a gift from some friends. It was a frame, wrapped in canvas, scribed with a quote. It reads, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Lived the life you have imagined." - Thoreau
This piece of art will be the last thing I grab when I leave this apartment. It has so much symbolic meaning behind it for me, and I feel it has become one of my most prized possessions. First, I have the greatest friends in the world for without them I wouldn't be who I am today, but more importantly this gift helped save my life.
I know I wasn't in a good place when I moved into this apartment. Every time I glanced at that piece of canvas I was reminded of my commitment to grow and move on, and I think I have.
In much the same way I have overcome struggle in my life, I have to commend "Todd" (You should know who you are)
I'm so proud of everything this individual has accomplished in the past year. To discover oneself knowing that in a single heart beat your life can change, and then accept the dissonance between your mind, body, and soul all the while continuing to discover the meaning behind unspoken truths....it is remarkable. Todd, you have inspired to me to make changes in my life because you are so pure of heart. I truly feel a connection with you. A connection that is so deep, I sometimes feel your tears of pain fall on my heart into my soul. I want nothing more than the greatest happiness in your life, and can only hope that with time our story continues to enrich itself and encounter the most strange endeavors as they will keep our hearts growing together.
Currently, I'm content, and that is fine by me.
That is all.
