Yes it has been a very long time, but when something huge happens...that moves me this much..I have to say something!
Without disclosing names, someone I have absolutely adored and completely crushed on just came out to me. Being a little older, this person is simply stunning, and although he is currently in a relationship, I can't help but wonder if we can be together someday. Everything about it is all wrong, but the following is what I know:
I have always liked him
I have always thought he was gay
I'm willing to drop everything to try
He has everything I want and more
I would have to work so hard
We would argue and get angry
He is compassionate and dreamy
OMG...I'm on cloud freaking nine right now and I can't even explain my emotions in words. I feel giddy and excited about a boy again and that is great.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHG
I wish I could act more mature about this, but have you ever bee so excited that you are going to burst at the seams? It just boggles my mind...ya know. For years I questioned myself and I was getting all the signals. His story is so interesting and he really is my kind of guy. Totally butch and sexy, but more importantly he is smart and cunning. His smile makes me melt and I can't even stand the fact that he is with someone else.
Is this something that I go for....it is more risky than anything I have ever done!! A huge process. I feel like it could be the most rewarding thing I do, even if it means securing a strong friendship.
Is this really happening.......everything I am concerned about right now just drifted away because I am genuinely happy...like oh my fucking god, balls to the freaking walls... elated about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness!!
Okay thats all...
