Pull Away

When I pull away he notices and complains. Yet when he clearly sees that I am upset, he does nothing to fix it.  It is a lose/lose situation. If I tell him how I really feel, I lose a friend and my dignity. If I don't tell him how I feel, I lose the chance of knowing whether he could ever love me. 

I'm not asking for love, but to know the truth would be nice. Who am I kidding here? I'm the lier. I have never been this unsure and untrue to myself before. I can't focus on school work, I can't make this work, I can't continue going on like everything is okay, when it is not okay with me. 

Stop telling me about the men in your past who you wish you could have back. Wake up and smell the coffee and realize that although I'm not physically attractive like them, I will care for you whole heartedly.  Im fun, fresh, and full of life, and I want to share that with you. You will never know the fear in my heart because you spend so much time fixated on the past. They don't want you. They left you, and although that is harsh and painful to hear, it is the truth, and I rather be honest with you because in the end, it is better late than never to express the true feeling you have inside. 

I'm not as musically talented as you, but just like you if not more, I feel it. 
I'm not as handsome as you, but just like you, I have things to offer. 

I'm not everything you hoped to have, I'm more. 

Spending time with you is the most fulfilling thing I do these days, but I'm getting bored with same talk of men. Tell me something new and real. Make me laugh like we used to. Let the others go because in the end, I know that I am the very best thing that could ever happen to you. You say you don't have friends like me. Let me be your best friend. The one you come home to at night and vent to. Let me be the one who comforts your every need and loves you more then any other person can.   I'm ready to try. I'm not ensuring success with this one because I know it will be the hardest thing I will ever have to work for, but for heaven's sake, give me the gratification of wanting what is best for you. I may not be positive what that is right now, but I know one thing: I care about you.